How Depressing are Cincinnati's Casinos?

An investigation!

Belterra Park.

This headline was a trick question. All casinos are depressing. The question that has been bugging me over the 16 months we’ve lived here is: just how depressing are these casinos?

Today, I endeavored to find out. My wife and girls are out of town, so this rainy day was the perfect opportunity to lose some money. I am not a gambler, so this was more a mission to scratch the itch of curiosity.

The first stop was nearby Belterra Park, which bills itself as “A Cincy Kind of Place.” Whatever that means. My grandparents, who lived up I-75, would gamble at Belterra, though I think it was likely the one in Florence, Indiana given when they died.

I’ve driven by it probably 300 times in my life, George Clooney once worked there at River Downs race track and lived above a bar.

He recounts in Interview that this inspired his role for “Uncle Charlie” in Ocean’s Eleven.

I had an Uncle George. I was named after him. He was my dad’s uncle, so he was actually my great uncle, but he was only a couple of years older than my dad. In the summers when I was around the same age as J.R. 5 at the same time the movie is set, I would work at River Downs racetrack in Cincinnati, and I lived above a bar exactly like the one in the movie with my Uncle George. So all of that was really familiar to me.

…

Listen, my Uncle George was in many ways a cautionary tale. He was a B-17 bomber pilot hero in World War II. He dated Miss America. He was my Aunt Rosemary’s band manager. I mean, he was the shit, and he was also a terrible alcoholic. He was one of the funniest men I ever knew, but when he was drunk, which was often, he was terrible. He was vicious and mean and had none of the qualities of the Uncle Charlie character. But you’re a writer, and you know that when you have fully fleshed-out characters, everything about telling a story gets easier.

That bar was the City View Tavern in Mt. Adams, which I have yet to patronize, but is for sale, as its owners decided to announce their retirement.

It was a fine, small-ish casino, owned by Boyd Gaming, which owns the Ameristar in Saint Charles, MO, among others. I definitely hit the Ameristar on my 21st birthday.

River Downs also had a barn fire in 1978 that resulted in the death of 33 horses. My cousins, who lived in Anderson Township before I was born, experienced the ash, which came down all around Mt. Washington and Anderson Township, the size of dinner plates my cousin Kathy recalls.

If you want to read the whole article, you can do so below:

May 20, 1978 (page 42 Of 52)

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The restaurants looked nice, as did the sportsbook. Though, I wasn’t prepared to spend any money on my 14-1 Billikens today, though I was confident they’d win, I didn’t want to have to return to collect my winnings.

But I wasn’t there to eat. I was saving that for the Hard Rock, as my family loves this chain and dines there routinely on family trips. We ate at the Hard Rock in Rome across from the U.S. Embassy for the 3rd time in 25 years if that gives you a sense of how much we have visited Hard Rocks over the years. I have the glassware to prove it!

I think I’ll go back when the horses are running and try it again. I lost $10 on the slots fairly quickly. But I did get a free Dr. Pepper.

Off to the Hard Rock, by way of Kentucky, I passed by the Hamilton County detention center, the county’s most densely populated parcel. (A fact I picked up from Cincinnati in 50 Maps, a great new book by Nick Swartsell and Andy Woodruff.)

I had mentally prepared to lose some money at the Hard Rock, knowing that its musical history and attractions would likely keep me there for a while.

I appreciated the Ohio-focus of some of the exhibits, from The Raspberries, Trent Reznor, Mark Mothersbaugh, DEVO, and Bootsy Collins, among other exhibits with famous rockers.

The Hard Rock is more of a full casino than Belterra, complete with a prize shop for adults (which included Citizen and Bulova watches), a sportsbook, some higher-end restaurants, and two smoking lounges.

As it was my first time there, I got a $25 credit for slots and because I was in a chatty mood, the guest services people gave me a $20 food voucher. Perhaps to shut up or perhaps because I was excited to be able to get a Hard Rock burger and some fries. We’ll never know.

Immediately, I am up $45* in credits. I play $10 in slots and lose and meander over to the restaurant for the burger. It’s great, but the fries? Not the signature seasoned fries. Sad, but free.

After my free burger, I went and kept playing until I ran out of money. I had $.56 left, and then thought, what the heck and threw $10 into the machine.

My first pull on that earned me a BAR-BAR-BAR and $30, netting me a payout of $37 (so a gain of $27). I immediately cashed out and left for Ohio Books.

But not before enjoying the last bits of rock history near the parking garage.

I got lunch at Arnold’s shortly after moving here with a friend but it was too cold and snowy that day so I skipped out on Ohio Books. I was glad to finally have some time to enjoy it.

I could have spent the afternoon there, but left with a few books for myself and as gifts, and I really had to resist stocking up on old documents like this one:

Or old LIFE magazines like this:

Or old local newspapers:

Three floors (and a balcony) of aged goodness.

Oh, and I discovered “Swift Alley” which is one of Cincinnati’s old-school downtown service lanes, dating back to the 1860s.

So, were the casinos depressing? Not as much as I would have guessed. Not so much where if a visitor said “let’s go to the casino” I’d have to discourage it.